Now, being a Louisville, Kentucky girl, I had to pay respect to my city and state by creating a good horse analogy in my Healing Marathon! The Triple Crown of Horse Racing is a title in horse racing achieved by a horse that wins the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes. The Triple Crown is considered the most difficult accomplishments in horse racing, and possibly all of sports championships.
What does all of this have to do with healing??? I feel the most difficult achievement for trauma sufferers is facing your trauma head on and dealing with it! Processing the hurt, pain, anguish, loneliness, helplessness, anger, resentment, isolation, feelings of unworthiness, lost time, lost relationships, etc., is the most difficult part of healing. Sometimes, it is easier to tuck away you feelings and pretend you are okay, because you don’t want to be burden. You don’t want people to know you are not okay. You are tired of feeling sick and tired. But the truth is, the harder you try and tuck it away, the more it will wreak havoc on your life. It will rob you of true joy. Simply put, The Triple Crown of Healing is my greatest achievement in my healing marathon thus far. So, here is how I ran my 3 races to get to where I am today…
Race #1 – The Mind Race
Right at the start of Covid, I was dealing with a lot (who wasn’t, you’re probably telling yourself). One of my sons and I had been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a rare genetic disorder, 1 year before, which I was still trying to wrap my brain around. That same son was was diagnosed with ADHD and was having some other strange medical issues we were trying to get to the bottom of. I was also diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. On top of this, I’m also an owner of an audiology practice, responsible for helping to support my family but also have employees who I was worried about making sure I could support. I am a person who thrives on being in control and all of the sudden, I felt completely out of control. I was lost and felt completely helpless. In April of 2020, I called on the help of the mental health community and got appointments with a Nurse Practitioner who specializes in psychiatry and a therapist who specializes in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). I got properly managed both medically and with very effective therapy, which I still keep up with today. They are a critical part of my journey to healing because I could not have run the other 2 races without their help. I am a Jesus follower and love the Lord, but there is a misnomer sometimes that if you just pray enough or are a “good enough” Christian, you will get better. If you just read the bible more or if you do more good, then you will be healed. This is NOT TRUE!!! I firmly believe that God sent me these medical professionals to help me heal. My therapist told me, “Abigail, God created your body to heal” to give me encouragement to keep going. I will always be running this race, but I’m grateful to recognize this as a vital race to run and am proud of the work I have done to get this far!
Race #2 – The Body
Being that I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS), I am constantly battling against my body to try and feel well. My EDS causes chronic pain and a host of other issues with my tissues. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is considered an “invisible disease” and there is no cure or medication I can take to make my symptoms just disappear. If only people could see into our tissues like a microscope can, they could see that our disease is actually very visible and it lies in our collagen. Collagen is a tough, fibrous, protein, and serves as a building block essential in both strengthening connective tissue and providing flexibility where needed. Collagen is actually the most abundant protein in the human body and is the “glue” that holds the body together. The problems seen in patients with EDS is primarily due to the poor strength of collagen and the structure is abnormal. Normal collagen is much thicker, stronger and richer in blood flow. My EDS collagen is much thinner and it looks more like a spider web. Thinner collagen is much weaker and not able to provide adequate support/strength for our connective tissue. Collagen is literally essential to every system in the body & there are 4 types of collagen: Type I provides the structure to skin, bones, tendons, connective tissue, fibrous cartilage and teeth; Type II cushions the joints and is found in elastic cartilage; Type III supports the structure of muscles, organs, and arteries; Type IV is found in the layers of skin and helps with filtration. And this is why EDS can wreak havoc on the body because it can impact every system in your body!
In June 2020, I started having really terrible headaches, and I experienced them daily with a vengeance. I went to doctor after doctor, had a CT scan, allergy testing, etc. I was not finding answers and growing more frustrated. In November 2020, a patient shared her experience with Hashimoto’s disease and how a functional medicine nutritionist changed her life. She told me the nutritionist helped her body heal, all with food, and that she felt better than she ever felt. I was willing to try anything to make these headaches go away, so I called the nutritionist and signed up.
In January 2021, I started an intensive 12-week nutrition diet led by the nutritionist to heal my gut in hopes to eliminate my headaches. Miranda, the nutritionist, told me, “Abigail, your genetics are a loaded gun. What you put in and on your body are the triggers. Right now, you are pulling a trigger which is causing your headaches. We have to figure out the trigger so you can eliminate it, which will take your finger off the trigger.” She also said the same words the therapist told me which was such an encouragement. She said “Abigail…you can do this. God created our bodies to heal. You will live a life without chronic headaches.” After 2 weeks of following Miranda’s program, my headaches were gone. We ended up discovering my headache triggers were peanuts. A mainstay and common food item I ate daily. Something as innocent as a peanut, something I have never tested positive for in allergy testing, something that did not show up in my sensitivity testing, was making me experience daily pain and also causing me to feel hopeless.
Through this nutrition program, I created a different relationship with food. My first priority became making sure the food was nutritious for my body and then it was my job to make it delicious. Food became fuel. Not only did my headaches ago away, but my body didn’t ache as much, I lost 15 pounds of inflammation that was causing a host of other issues that were minor in comparison to the headaches I was experiencing. I also felt more mental clarity and was able to experience better, more sustained energy.
The program was a test of mental strength in so many ways. Food hijacks your brain and you feel like you cannot live without them. I believe my first race, The Mind Race, was the first race I ran that led me to the Body Race. I do not think I could have successfully ran the Body Race without running the Mind Race first. So, now that leads us to the 3rd race of The Triple Crown of Healing…
Race #3 – The Soul
Race #3 is called the Soul, but it would be foolish for me to say that I wasn’t healing that all along during Race #1 & Race #2 as well. But, in Race #3 I really focused on my spiritual health and dove head first into a relationship with God.
I grew up in and out of church. My dad was raised in the Church of Christ of my mom is Catholic. Their denominations were so different and our childhood was not rooted in faith. I believed in God growing up and I knew there was a God, but I didn’t know how to access a relationship with God. I just thought he was this guy, sitting in heaven, watching you to make sure you weren’t sinning. I almost imagined Heaven like the North Pole and God had this Naughty and Nice list and was just keeping track. I didn’t understand how to access God. I didn’t know how to get real with God. I didn’t know how to talk to Him. And I was scared of the bible. I am an intelligent person who has earned a professional degree and has 8 years of college under my belt. But, the Bible made me feel dumb. I would open the bible, feel so overwhelmed with where to start, how to read it, how to understand it and how to apply it to my life.
My husband, Damien & I, both agreed we wanted to raise our children to know God. We went to church but I went on Sunday and didn’t seek first the kingdom of God through the week. I wasn’t understanding that Church is just a place where people are gathered to worship the Lord, and that I could bring Church to my home. A sermon at Southeast Christian Church, where I attend regularly in Kentucky, had a timely sermon during Race #3 that unlocked something for me and helped me start to really develop my relationship with God. The pastor was telling us a story about how when you are talking to God, it’s just like you are “talking to your daddy”. It doesn’t have to be formal, sound perfect, have eloquent words or be an Emmy speech, but it just a real conversation you are having with your Father. He went on to say, “When my kids, who are now grown and have kids, call me and just want to talk, I am overjoyed and cannot wait to listen. God feels the same way when you call him to pray”. I was overcomplicating this “relationship” thing and just started talking to God. Then, I started to listen to Scripture in an app called Abide. If i felt anxious, I listened to scripture centered around anxiety. If I felt scared, I listened to scripture regarding fear. If I was frustrated with my kids, I listened to scripture about children and parenting. And, on the advice of a friend, I read an amazing children’s bible to help build my foundation for the real deal, for the big Bible. Slowly, but surely, my love for God grew deeper and deeper and I felt differently. I felt calmer. I felt like my picture of my life was becoming more clear. I know God now. I know God is a gracious God. He is a forgiving God. He is a loving God. He just wants us to love others how we would want to be loved. He wants us to love people through his eyes, including ourselves. He wants us to seek first his kingdom. God knows we will make mistakes. He knows we are not perfect. He knows our wordly desires will sometimes win out. But God is there to forgive when we are sorry and to comfort us with His Word. I better understood that my trauma was not a deserved consequence from God, but an unfortunate circumstance. My trauma was inflicted on me because of my dad’s free will. However, that very trauma led me back to God and I have been called to use my trauma to help others heal, my greater purpose.
Click here to buy the Jesus Storybook Bible on Amazon.
Cycle Breaker
My Triple Crown of Healing has allowed me to become a cycle breaker of trauma. Trauma was passed down for generations to my dad. My dad’s dad was an alcoholic, and the generation before that. My dad’s side of the family and his siblings suffered from alcoholism which has led to my generation suffering from trauma.
Trauma can leave a chemical mark on a person’s genes, which can then be passed down to future generations. This mark doesn’t cause a genetic mutation, but it does alter the mechanism by which the gene is expressed. This alteration is not genetic, but epigenetic. I will leave you with this quote my best friend sent me, just yesterday, to bring you encouragement to Run the Triple Crown to become a cycle breaker for your family:
“Never underestimate a cycle breaker. Not only did they experience years of generational trauma, but they stood in the face of the trauma and fought to say, “This ends with me.” This is brave. This is powerful. This comes at a significant cost. Never underestimate a cycle breaker”.
You may lose relationships as you heal, you may lose stuff that seems important at the time, but what you will gain is so much more valuable! You likely didn’t have a choice in the trauma that suffered, however, you do have a choice to become a cycle breaker. It’s hard work but so worth it!!! Keep running your Healing Marathon and remember, #nobodyrunsalone.
Leave a Reply